Her Eyes
by FeraNelia
Summary: Nobodies. Somebodies. Becoming whole. Just a few words from her were enough to tear his heart open and into pieces. A Roxas/Naminé oneshot.


**AN:** This was written a few years ago, and I had almost forgotten its existence *laughs* I've always loved the darker side of Roxas/Naminé – how far Roxas could go to save them both – and decided to poke the idea a bit with this. To be honest, I'm not really fond of this oneshot anymore as it was written quite quickly and without deeper thinking, but then thought that oh heck with it, might as well publish it here.

Thanks to **hopeh-wa** for beta reading!~

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"You…uh…wait, what?"

She was lying. She _had_ to be lying. Please, let her burst into giggles and say _gotcha!_ Just anything to show she wasn't actually serious!

But she just sat there, with a sad smile on her face.

'_No, no…!'_

"It's okay, Roxas…" she said, "I knew it right from the beginning. It really is okay."

Roxas shook his head in a complete disbelief – this couldn't be happening.

"How can you say such a thing? So it's just okay to fade away, to leave everything behind and sacrifice yourself for strangers? I can't believe you, just listen to yourself! It's not _okay! _It's..!" he couldn't find any right words for it as he held his head in rage and confusion; just wanted to block it all out of his mind and pretend she never said such a thing. _She couldn't have._

"Roxas…" she softly started, "I know you can't understand now. I really do. But believe me when I say it's the right thing to do; it's _our_ responsibility. We… we're nothing without them, and they–"

"We aren't _nothing_, Naminé," Roxas spat, "we are living persons, too; we have own minds, own feelings, we breathe like everyone else and feel like every single being – we are _something!_ How can you not realise that?" He took a deep breath and looked at the pictures on the pearl white walls. His eyes were burning, but he refused to let any tears out. Ironically, he restrained himself from such a simple act of humanity, when he so hard tried to deny the fact that kept saying he hadn't one.

_This was simply, utterly, completely unfair._

Naminé didn't say anything, just watched him with her sad, deep blue eyes.

He refused to meet her gaze.

"Isn't there any other way?" He couldn't - _wouldn't -_ let go of hope. Not when there was something fighting for. "You keep telling me that nobodies are only half a person, that they don't have real feelings, but maybe we are special ones – maybe we were able to become whole on our own and–!"

But she just shook her head slightly, the smile never leaving her face. "No, I'm sorry, but there's no other way. They need us, just like we need them."

"Well, I certainly don't," Roxas muttered and leaned against the table.

It was all a one, big nightmare from which he couldn't find a way out. Of course he had always felt something was a little off there; he couldn't have been able to explain it, but everything – from waking up in his room to eating ice cream with his friends – had always had this little feeling of uneasiness behind it. Had his whole life been like that? How much of it was real, anyway? The memories he had thought to be his own were crumbling down as the new ones filled his mind. Or were they his real memories? He couldn't tell anymore.

And just when he had found someone – someone _real_ – to support him and tell him the truth, she had said…

"I… I won't let it happen." He broke the silence, his voice filled with determination. "I can't let you just fade away."

"Roxas, it really is oka-"

"IT'S NOT OKAY!"

Fragments spread loudly as the vase he had thrown from the table crashed against the floor. She didn't flinch, just... kept smiling, with a painful understanding in her eyes.

"Do you really believe I can just stand by and watch as you are forced to…to _'become one' _with someone and give up on your existence? Well you're wrong; I won't allow it. I can't let you fade away like that. I've already lost my life, my friends who apparently never even existed–"

"They do," she said, "they do exist, just not…"

"…in my life, yeah, I get it! But the point is that I don't want to lose you too, is it so hard to understand?"

This time she did react, her eyes widening slightly as his words sank in. But he wasn't done yet, he wanted her to fully understand his pain – to understand what he had been going trough.

"You seem to be okay with the fact that we are just others' tools, but I'm not. You've helped me when everyone else has tossed me around; you were there to tell me what's going on when all the others just told me to shut up and play along. And now you're telling me that you, after all this, are going to merge with your real self and fade away? Do you have any idea how much that hurts me? How it confuses me? I don't want to fade away, but even more than that, I can't stand to see _you_ fade away after all the hard work you've done for them – for me. I just… CAN'T!" Roxas couldn't help but sink to the floor and hold his head.

It was all too much; why did they have to suffer like this? Were they really second-class people, forced to be stamped down by others, by _somebodies?_ Did nobodies really have no right to exist? Were they that horrible?

_Just someone, please, tell me I'm not just a tool…_

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. A sudden urge to lean to the touch filled him, but he restrained himself as he miserably fought against the tears which were filling his eyes. _Heh, if Hayner'd just see me now…_

"Roxas…" soft voice spoke next to him. Roxas swallowed a sob as he lifted his gaze and met the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever stumbled upon. Naminé opened her mouth as to say something, but the words betrayed her as she could just hesitate before stroking his chin gently. This time Roxas couldn't stop himself from leaning into her touch and closing his eyes, a weak sigh escaping from his lips. How badly he just wanted her to know, to understand his need to protect her – his need for _her_.

"Roxas, I know it's hard, but you have to believe me," she whispered, "it's not that simple, it's not about fading away or being a tool – it's about fulfilling your meaning. It's our, _my_, job to do it for others' sake, and we're the only ones who can help them. Please, Roxas, I know I'm only hurting you when I say this but you don't have worry for me. I'm going to be okay. I've known since from the beginning that this is what I must do. I've been alone for so long, and although I've made new friends, I cannot be complete without my other self."

His anger had died down under her gentle touch as all he could do was shake his head weakly and hold onto her touch for his dear life. It couldn't be… No, he wouldn't allow it…

"The same goes for you, Roxas," she continued softly, "You have to be strong for others' sake, because they need you. Sora needs you, Roxas…"

His eyes swung open. _Sora…_The boy he had seen in his dreams, the boy Naminé was always talking about. Was he the reason behind all this? Was this… his fault? So this all was happening because of him?

_No…_

"What's so special about him anyway?" he asked quietly even though deep within himself he knew the answer. Naminé laughed gently before saying: "If you only knew…"

Roxas couldn't help as a sharp bite of jealousy hit him. Did Naminé do this all because of Sora? Was she going to sacrifice herself because of him? She had told him about the incident, which had occurred a year ago and how she wanted to make things right, but was it really the whole truth?

Naminé smiled as if she had seen into his mind, and stroked his face gently. "Sora is the key that connects everything; the hero who's going to set things straight. He's the one who'll be fighting for everyone else and brings light into their hearts. He's our greatest hope… But you knew all this already, didn't you?" Roxas let his gaze fall. Of course he had seen it all in his dreams… He knew Sora was the person everyone was fighting for, so that he could end it all for good. But…

_If he had to choose between Naminé and Sora… _

"He's your other half…" she said quietly and Roxas felt anger bubbling inside him again. He was himself, nobody else. His heart belonged to him, just like Naminé's heart was hers… No one should have the right to say they shouldn't exist; not Naminé, not that Jerk in Red, and definitely not Sora.

'_But you know she's right...'_

_Shut up!_

"Are you afraid?" he asked as his eyes faced hers.

She didn't answer right away, but let her own gaze fall this time before whispering: "I… I don't know what exactly will happen to nobodies when they become whole, but I'm not afraid of doing it. I'm… afraid of the darkness, and that I end up being alone again. I know what I have to do and I want it, but… I'm not sure if I'm able to do it…"

That was all he needed to hear. Roxas didn't want her to feel fear – not anymore. Although Naminé had never really talked about it, he had sensed the grief behind her eyes. She had been alone for so long, just to be used by bad guys against Sora, and then she had to work with that Jerk in Red who clearly didn't care for her at all – she was just a tool for all of them. And it shouldn't be that way; she shouldn't feel as if she was just 'a witch' – no, he wanted her to feel special, that she had her own heart; that she was loved, too.

"Why did it have to end this way...?" he whispered. "Why does everything I hold dear vanish before my eyes...? Hayner, Pence, Olette..."

Naminé couldn't say anything – what comfort could sweet words have offered, when his whole life – both real and created – had crashed down...? She wasn't going to deepen his pain with empty words.

Instead she just hugged him, hoping that a simple touch would reach his suffering heart.

And it did, as a burning determination filled him. Roxas couldn't make Naminé change her mind, but it didn't mean he couldn't still save her. Her touch reminded him of everything she had done for him – how many times she had helped him – and he wasn't going to let it go. He wouldn't let her go.

So when he hugged her back, his mind was already set up.

If he had to defeat Sora in order to save her, then so be it. She would not forgive him for it, he knew, but as long as her smile wouldn't fade away...

...he didn't care.

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**AN: **_Note:_ there's a misunderstanding between Naminé and Roxas here; when Naminé says she's afraid of "not being able to do it", she means that she's afraid of some outside force (like the Organization) stopping her from becoming whole, and casting her into darkness. But Roxas takes it as a fear of the idea of what might happen after it.

(If there still were typos or such, please feel free to point them out. English isn't my first language so mistakes are my everyday life.)


End file.
